Oh, to be a Republican
To the editor:
Not long ago my song of the day was, of all things “Life could be a dream” by the Cords, recorded in 1954. The repeating melody is “life could be a dream, if you would do what I want you to, and baby, we’d be so fine.” Of course, there were a lot of sh-booms and DooWops mixed in. For some unknown reason in this old brain of mine an idea was born. How about let’s make this old song the theme song for the Republican 2016 Presidential campaign. I mean, this thing is already shaping up to be the same old right wing agenda and platform we’ve all heard for years. You know the one that has promised us the dream, but got us into so much trouble every time they take over the reins of the Country. I mean the bedrock principal of their existence is to direct the money to the rich and then everything good for the people will “trickle” down to the masses. One problem, it does not work. Why? Simple, they keep the money for themselves. Seen any trickle down money lately fellow Americans? Me neither.
Wouldn’t it be a dream and so much easier if you were a Republican? All you would need to do is:
1) Just say “no” to any and all issues that you don’t agree with or that has Obama’s name on them. Never mind the sensibility of it, the truth of it, the overwhelming public favor of it, or if it helps the average American. Just say “no”. It’s so much easier, no studying the facts, never a need to explain your position, just say no.
2) Don’t spend the time and research necessary to inform yourself of the facts of any particular subject, climate change for example, just say “no”. It’s so much easier.
3) No need to spend your valuable time negotiating with foreign governments on anything that would have an impact on the daily life of your constituents now or in the future, just say “no”, it’s my way or the highway. Oh, and make sure you shout out “war” as you walk away from the negotiating table with these governments. It’s so much easier than spending all those days talking and negotiating a solution to the differences you have.
4) If you’re a Congress person in Florida, no need to work out the differences with your adversaries, all in the Republican party I might add, when it comes to the state budget talks, just pick up all of your marbles and go home three days early, laughing and cheering on your way out of Chambers, leaving hundreds of thousands of Floridians hanging in the breeze because of the pile of poop you’ve left behind, unfinished. At the Federal level, basically you do the same thing, only you shut down the majority of the entire country’s government, costing billions.
5) When it comes down to actually doing something to improve the people’s lives, you know, like submitting bills and passing laws, just don’t do anything at all. This is so much easier than actually working on legislation. Oh, don’t forget to pick up your pay check as you are on your way home for your continuous vacation.
6) You don’t even have to think, just watch Fox “news” or listen to Rush Limbaugh; they will tell you all you need to know to be a good, standing member of the Tea Party. You don’t even have to think for yourself, just repeat what they’ve told you to say and think. No muss, no fuss. What a dream.
7) When it’s election time all you have to do is tell everybody what a dismal future they have to look forward to if the voters don’t elect them and then tell everyone what a horrible person your opponent is, no need to present your position on anything or your plan for the country’s future, just keep telling everybody where they can find the mud on your opponent. This is so much easier.
8) If you’re the Governor and your Congress is in a dead lock with the budget talks and real leadership is needed to solve this problem with a looming state wide Government shutdown a real possibility; don’t bother to stay in Tallahassee and be a part of the solution, just go to Fort Myers and participate in a WaWa grand opening, it’s so much easier. What a dream.
9) When the Senate is ready to sue the House over early adjournment which would only complicate an already deteriorating situation in your Congress, don’t bother to stay in Tallahassee and show some real leadership, just go to Orlando and visit a giant Ferris wheel. It’s so much easier.
10) Come election time and you really need votes, tell everybody that you have changed your mind on bringing Medicaid to the state of Florida; you are now in favor of it. After the election and you win by a narrowest of a margin, just change back to your original position, you are now against it. This is so much easier than getting out there on the campaign trail and earning every vote you get the old fashion, honest way.
11) When you’re a Republican governor and your Congress is in a state of disarray all you need to do is stay away from the Capital until two days after they have gone home, because of a major political battle among themselves, then just show up and announce that you want to work with the lawmakers to resolve the problem. What a joke, if not an insult to our intelligence.
12) When you’re the Republican Speaker of House in Washington D.C. and your Party wants to continue the ridiculous accusations against the forerunner of the opposing party’s Presidential candidate, in spite of the fact that you have had nine, yes, count them nine Congressional investigations on this matter in the past two years and they all have come to the same conclusion, which was, no wrong doing by anyone involved. After all of this, you support another investigation which is set up to hold hearings and deliberations during the next campaign season with no conclusions until after the next national election. This strategy is so much easier than actually going out there to the people and stating your case on the campaign trail. Talk about dirty tricks.
13) If you’re a Republican Congress and there is a disagreement with the President, instead of sitting down and negotiating an expectable deal with him, just sue him. It’s so much easier, let the lawyers handle it,all at the taxpayers’ expense, I might add.
14) If you finally figure out that the Country’s demographics have changed to the point of not including your party in the majority of a voting bloc or district, as in the past, all you have to do is change the voting laws and voting districts to exclude a percentage of your opposition from voting. It’s so much easier than going out in the community and telling them they should really support you and your party. It might be easier until the lawsuits start and you begin losing in the court of law. What do you care anyway, all costs for your misguided actions will be paid by the poor shmoes you are attempting to take voting rights anyway from in the first place. What a dream.
15) The most recent example of the Republican’s life could be a dream would have to be the Iran nuclear deal. First of all, forget the two years of hard work that led up to the talks, forget about the months of preliminarily talks, forget about the three weeks of day and night negotiations that took place to arrive at a deal, forget about the fact that there was always China and Russia looming in the background, yes, just throw away all of this effort and hard work by good men and women, don’t even bother to read the 159 page document, just say no and tell everybody who will listen “this is a bad deal.” No need to bring a viable alternative the table. It’s so much easier to just say no, unless you want to consider John McCain’s answer to the problem when he said, “Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.” That would not be just a bad dream that would be a nightmare of epic proportions. If you do your homework, you will find Iran is not the push over that Iraq was. These guys are well trained, well armed and tough. We would be counting our dead in tens of thousands like in Vietnam, not in the thousands like in Iraq. Is that your alternative? If so stand up and be counted like a man, or sit down and shut up.
Like the Cords sang 60 years ago “if you do what I want you to. Baby, we’d be so fine. Life could be a dream.” I do believe that these 2016 elections will expose an old tried and true saying. You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Advantage Democrats just look at the numbers.
Jim Healy
Cape Coral